5 Ways to Build Emotional Intelligence Today

by Laura Lee Jones, Author of Leading Without Damage: How to Build Results Without Breaking People

Emotional intelligence isn’t a corporate buzzword; it’s the foundation of how we lead, connect, and build trust. When you strengthen your emotional intelligence, you don’t just become a better leader; you become a better human. The best part? You can start right now.

Here are five ways to build emotional intelligence today:

1. Notice What You Feel and Name It

Self-awareness is the starting point of emotional intelligence. Throughout your day, take short pauses to check in: What am I feeling right now? Naming emotions (“I feel anxious,” “I feel hopeful,” “I feel impatient”) helps you manage them before they manage you. When you understand your emotions, you can lead with clarity instead of confusion.

2. Practice the Pause

Strong leaders know that power lives in the pause. Before reacting to an email, a meeting comment, or a performance issue, stop and take a breath. Ask yourself: What’s the outcome I want here? That single moment of intention can transform a tense interaction into a productive one.

3. Listen to Understand, Not to Reply

Too often, we listen only long enough to respond. Emotionally intelligent leaders listen to understand. When someone speaks, focus on their tone, words, and body language. Reflect back what you hear. This builds trust and psychological safety, two things every high-performing team needs to thrive.

4. Take Responsibility for Your Energy

Leadership is contagious. The tone you set becomes the tone of your team. If you’re rushed, frustrated, or distracted, your people will mirror it. Before every meeting or difficult conversation, take a moment to reset. Breathe. Ground yourself. Choose the energy you want to bring into the room — calm, focused, and open.

5. Get Curious About Your Triggers

Everyone has triggers, those moments that spark frustration or defensiveness. Instead of reacting, get curious. Ask: Why did that bother me? What story am I telling myself? Triggers reveal the places we still need growth. When you meet them with curiosity instead of judgment, you model what real emotional intelligence looks like in action.

The Bottom Line

Leading without damage means leading with awareness, empathy, and accountability. Emotional intelligence isn’t something you master once; it’s something you practice daily in every conversation, every decision, and every reaction.

When you commit to that practice, you don’t just build stronger teams. You build trust. And trust is the truest measure of leadership.